Stages of love

“Stages of Love”

Have you ever felt being in love with someone? Well, I know one girl who did love someone more than what she expected and in the end only she can decide for her own destiny. This is her story.

My name is Jessica and I am here to tell you about how I began to feel the so called “love” and how I handle it. Come to think of it, my love grew as if it was alive. Love has its stages before it fully matures.

Stage 1: Puppy Love

The very first crush I had was Ryan, and we were on the 1^st grade. He kept on teasing me about my curly hair and he kept on telling people I had bad breathe and that I had body odor. I hated him but then I liked him. It was confusing but every time I looked at him I can help but adore him. He was good looking and that he is funny. One time during recess he spilled milk on my dress but I just smiled told him “It’s ok...hehehe!” he walked away laughing but to me that scenario was so magical. The fact that he spilled “his” milk on me was something so memorable.

Stage 2: Love at first sight

I grew up to be an ordinary girl. The rumors that spread when I was in 1^st grade were gone and now I am on the verge of adolescence. I really did not care about boys at that time. I learned that boys will like you if you have brains. Beauty is nothing without brains according to my supermodel idol. So i tried my best in keeping a high grade but somehow neglect taking care of myself. I never knew love until the day I saw him, Jason Burton. He was not that good looking nor was he popular. The day he bumped at me in the hallway and smiled at me was so unforgettable. I felt sparks as our skin touched one another. I get goose bumps whenever he smiles or talks to me. Is this what they call love at first sight?

Stage 3: First Love

I keep on thinking about him. Day and night he was on my mind. His smell, his voice his mannerism when he looks at you; All of them keeps on flashing in my mind. Then one day I had the courage to walk to him and speak to him. I said “Good morning, Jason. Do you understand our lessons in biology class? I can’t seem to understand it.” To tell you the truth, I understand Biology very well but just to talk to him I need something that would interest him. He liked plants and animals so better be biology. He then replied “Do you want to join our group study after class?” My smile was stretching my face so much that my gums started to show. I kept on seeing butterflies and doves all over us and spoke “That would be great. I will see you after class then.”

During math class I kept on seeing his face on the board. I was like floating in air and can’t wait to get out of that room and see him again. Time was moving slowly or was that just me being excited to see him again. I kept on asking myself “Do I smell? Is my hair good? I think I have coleslaw in my teeth. Do I need to powder up?” I was like losing my mind. I am only meeting him for tutoring a subject that I am good at. After class, I started to have butterflies in my stomach. I was feeling conscious about everything then there he was, walking towards me the butterflies keep on flying up to my mouth and then...and then...and then...I PUKED AT HIM!

It was so embarrassing! As he wiped off the vomit in his face I can see my chances of him liking me more than a friend turned into dust! I tried to help him clean up but he just stays silent. I can feel it, the tears suddenly started to flow. I kept on apologizing at him. Then he held my hand and said “It’s alright. I don’t mind. Are you feeling alright? Do you want me to take you to the nurse?” At that moment the tears suddenly stopped. I just stood there looking at him as he smiled back and held my hand. It was a still moment for the two of us. I never thought that such a person existed. That made me wanted him more. After that incident, he became my closest friend. We were always together but I still did not have the courage to tell him what I am feeling for him. My parents knew him as my best friend; I even hid my feelings for him with my group of friends. I was living in a world of lies, pretending to be his best friend even though I love him more than that.

We were always together having fun and studying. I slowly began conscious of how I look. I started to dye my hair, color my nails, and even have facial treatment. I was a girl obsessed over a guy who knew me as a friend and nothing special. I was addicted to his presence; I get paranoid when he is not around. I kept on calling him when I feel that I miss him. These actions, I thought were normal for someone who had their very first love. But I was wrong. It turned out to be an awful desire to have someone great as him and its effect was that I am changing into someone horrible. I was turning to a love monster.

Stage 4: Forbidden Love

My final move in my preparation for my confession to him was almost at peak. I have decided to tell him that I love him during his birthday bash at a resort house near the ocean. For me it was the best location for him to know how deeply I am in love with him. The night finally came. I wore a skinny tight tube dress while wearing my new wedges. As I apply make up in my young face, only one thing was on my mind. I wanted to be his girlfriend, nothing more nothing less.

I entered the room ignoring all other eyes looking at me, staring at me as if they were stabbing my personality and my soul. My main goal was to find Jason and tell him immediately how I feel about him. I cannot find him anywhere. I started to lose it. I kept on drinking alcohol and started become tipsy then someone told everyone to gather around the dining area for Jason was coming. So I went in front but I felt dizzy and wanted to sit down but Jason was already there walking towards the crowd. My vision started to blurry and as he approach us I saw another person walking behind him and that was the last memory I can remember. I fainted that night and was rushed to the hospital.

I opened my eyes and I saw my mother staring at me as if she was about to slap me. On the other side of the room was my father talking to Jason and yelling at him that he was a bad influence to me. I wanted to stand up and stop my father but I cannot. I was light headed and that my body felt weak. I cannot even speak for some reason. Then the doctor came. He told my mother that I was overdosed with some kind of drug that I cannot remember what. It confused me; I did not take any drug. I only drank beer and juice that Mikee keep on giving me that night then it came to me, Mikee drugged me. He was the jock who only wanted the hot slutty girls in school. I kept on thinking, I am not a slut! I couldn’t be! And I started to cry. What have I become?! A monster! A horrific monster!

After I was send home from the hospital. I soon found out the persona I saw behind Jason was his girlfriend. It tore me apart that me, being his best friend (and hidden admirer), did not know he was falling in love with someone else. The girl was Cassie; she was one of our friends who were not pretty but smart and simple. Another thing was that I was forced to stop seeing Jason; my parents thought he was bad influenced to me and teaching me things that were inappropriate. I cannot believe my life was slowly shattered by a simple goal, to be with someone I love so much. I talked to Jason one time and asked him to meet me up in the park. There I told him everything, my love confession, my transformation and my family’s decision. He just kept quiet and turned his head down. The very last words he told me that broke my heart to pieces were “I loved you, Jessica. I did but you changed and that made me realize you are not the one for me. I am sorry I have Cassie now. Sorry”

That night everything changed I focused on my studies and became valedictorian. I never wanted to fall in love again, I was afraid that I will experience the worst sensation in the world, getting hurt by love.

Stage 5: True love

I was now in college. Years passed since the night I last talked to Jason and the only thing in my mind now was academics. I did not go out to party with my roommates. I was becoming myself again, the lonely and socially deprived girl. But one thing did not change I still don’t forget to fix myself whenever I go out. I was no longer unpleasant to look at yet I was not slutty. I was pretty in that sense and many guys tried to ask me out on a date but I kept on rejecting them.

During my stay on a friend’s house as we were doing a chemistry project, she introduced me to his cousin Carl, I never wanted to talk to him yet I was forced to. He kept on asking me questions about me that irritated me so much. His words were like nails on a chalkboard. Then I snapped. I couldn’t stand it anymore and I went outside to the garden and sat down a bench. As I looked at the moon and the rose bushes smiled at me. I asked myself “Will I grow old, as a lonely and single woman?” That thought frightened me but still rejection and fear of being hurt concealed that idea.

I was getting cold so I stood up holding the cup of coffee in my right hand and a book on the other and –splat. I bumped into a guy and burned his hand with the coffee. I started to panic and dropped the book. I rushed him inside and put his hand over the sink and kept it under running water. He just kept on laughing as I was panicking. I then stopped and looked at him. He said to me “You know what. It doesn’t hurt that much. So stop being terrified. Hahaha! It’s only a little burn it will surely be gone by tomorrow” I was pissed off by his laugh and apologize and left the room. That night as I was sleeping I asked my friend if he knew a guy with black hair, Japanese looking, and has a terrible sense of touch. My friend just laughed and said that is my half brother. His name is Lee. I just smiled and slept.

That morning when I woke up Lee was the first person I saw and I don’t know if I was going to be annoyed or something but then I smiled at him. It was unusual for me to do that to a guy but then again I did it. He smiled back with his eyes almost gone; he was so cute and cuddly. He grabbed my hand and gave me my book. I told him “I am sorry about last night. Is your wound ok?” he quote “Oh that is nothing. I always get hurt. Pain for me is like birds nesting on a tree, so common yet I am used to it.” That was then when I started to feel the same sensation when I had my first love. This time it was something real. I did not have to be somebody else in front of him.

A few months passed and we started dating. I opened my heart once again to a guy and hope that he will no longer hurt me like my very first love. He was different from the guys I knew. I have different guy friends but they were not like him. He is free-spirited and loves to make me smile and laugh. He was romantic and every time he we go out to eat; he brings me to his family’s house and ate lunch with his family. It was, for me, true love.

Stage 6: Final Love

I never knew love would feel this great. I never wanted to leave him but still I was sceptical about his feelings for me. He might be one of those guys who only wanted to have sex with me so I tested him. I brought him to my apartment and told him to lie down in bed with me and ask him to take my clothes off. I was at the same time scared at what I was saying and hoping he will pass the test. He sat down beside me, held my shoulder and his hands slowly moved from my shoulder to my hands. He was caressing me and it felt good but still my mind was focused on the test. He then moved my long hair away from my ear and slowly approached my neck. At that time I closed my eyes and kept on swallowing chunks of saliva down my throat. I was scared as hell! Then he whispered “I will not do anything to you. If you want to have sex with me, can you please wait until we get married?” I instantly opened my eyes and hugged him. He was at first confused and I told him about the test. He smiled and kissed me on forehead and told me that I looked like a nervous camel as he was caressing me. I just laughed and for the very first time in my life I felt the most realistic and awesome sensation of finding my last and final love.

Final stage: Love that lasted forever

It was Valentine’s Day and we were on our 7^th year as a couple. We both have fine jobs. He works in a travelling agency and I work in a Science institute. That night he told me he wanted to show me something. I kept on asking what but he refuses to tell me. A few days ago he was acting really strange. I kept on having this vibe he is going to propose to me but then I did not want to hope for something like that and get disappointed in the end.

So I followed him and we said if he could blindfold me. That was when I started to get excited yet nervous. I kept on hearing in my ears “I Do I Do I Do” and my heart started to beat so fast and my hands were shaking as he held it. Then we stopped walking, he took the blindfold off and there it was...... a huge sculpture for his company. I was disappointed and just sarcastically smiled at him. I took the blindfold off my neck and dropped my head on the floor. He grabbed me and took me inside the building. He said he wanted me to meet a few people. So I just said ok and still was upset. As the elevator door opened we were on the rooftop of the building and right in front of us was a small little girl holding a little remote. Lee told me to approach her and the girl told me to press the button. As I touched the button a group of balloons flew in and below it was a banner quoted “Jessica? Will you marry me?” I did not know what to say! Then I heard music playing and there he was. Holding a red rose and he dropped to his knee and brought out a ring. I was speechless and could not open my mouth. I then hugged him and saw my family with his family and a few other friends walking towards us cheering and clapping.

3 months later we got married and now we are expecting our very first child. I thought that happy endings only happen in books and that true love is only a myth. I hope my life serves as an inspiration to people who got broken up because of a bad relationship. Remember that God has lots of plan for us and that however we wish to avoid the fatal arrows of cupid. True love will always find its way to shoot our hearts.

THE END